Change

There is something within that bugs me every single day. Though I try hard to understand, I struggle with my thoughts, feelings and emotions. My mind flies without direction, to places where it leads, sometimes to destinations far and unknown. Simply put, I am confused. My world is confused. Change is happening - a good one I hope. 

In the many things that have happened in the past months or so, it seems interesting enough that I have still yet to pinpoint what it is that I really want or need or that which that would make me happy. In the process, I am losing a firm grasp of things, or my dreams and aspirations for the desires within no longer hold clarity or meaning. I wake up each day, only to see myself go through the minutes and hours searching for that which would be meaningful and purposeful. To my mind, my perplexity is something borne out of the fact that I am counting my days and trying to complete a picture which seems abstract at this point. 

I wonder where this would lead me. I may not understand the rhyme and reason to everything right now, but I know it is going somewhere, somehow. In the blank spaces of eternity, there seems a moment when the world becomes a void with nothing but the silence and the darkness that envelopes this stateless confusion. When confronted with choices, and when the choice is not too easy to make or accept, the world becomes a sea of tides and waves, without order but moving just the same. 

But the calm is in the eye of the storm - that place where silence is not void but serenity that calms the heart. I hear my heart beat as the silence grows deeper and stronger each stride in this vastness of creation. My eyes blink towards the horizon, where the seeming endlessness of space becomes merely imagination at the sight of land, however far or dim. The myriad I see in the desert sand brings back memories of castles and knights as they march in defense of a cause.

More than ever, I cherish being a child once again, when every song is a sweet lullaby, ready to let the innocence sleep in deep slumber.