Saturday, May 23, 2009

What The Heck


262 lbs, that's my weight as of today, May 23, 2009. It fell short of my 250 lbs goal but what the heck, I lost 34 lbs in 5 months...not a small feat :)

I really have a lot of catching up to do as I didn't have that much mood to write about my life for a while. It has been over two months since I posted something in this blog. But what the heck, it's better late than never :)

Three days to go and I'll be taking my oral exams in the DFA. I'm more excited than nervous, I am not really that prepared, in fact, I haven't prepared at all. But what the heck, if this is for me, so be it. If not, then, there are a lot more things to do in life. As of now, I am undecided. I am just excited of the idea that I am taking the final phase of the most dreaded government exam, and this is something I will always cherish for as long as I breathe. Life is too short to dwell on the what ifs. It's better to accept what is and move forward to what now.

As for my promotion to manager, I think I will have to be more patient about it. Our region head is in a one month vacation so I will have to wait until he comes back before my promotion will be endorsed to the Board Executive Committee. But what the heck, a few more weeks won't hurt. I'm happy with where I am now, I'm happy with the people I work with, I'm happy with my accomplishments for the past three months that I have been branch head, I'm happy that I am losing weight and finally accepting the real me. I am happy about life because there is much for all of us.

As for my love quest, again, I think I will have to be more patient about it. I know the right person will come. I have dreamed about V a few nights ago and the feelings were just so real. I'm missing V and if given the chance again to catch up with lost time, I won't hesitate to be vulnerable and experience to love and be loved freely without the insecurities and boundaries. V's my first love and I think it never dies. I still love V, only, I have not been ready to accept that until now. Love is indeed blind, but what the heck, if we are for each other, then no matter what has happened for the past 5 years that we haven't really been together, no matter how many people we've been with and no matter how many experiences we've failed to share, everything will come full circle as we again hold each other's hands and finally say the words we haven't said for so long a time, "I love you."

As for my family, Mama's last day in office was yesterday, officially ending her 27-year government service. I am happy for her that finally she is moving on to a new chapter in her life. I wish her all the best. I'm also happy that Papa is supporting Mama in this. I know Papa is also happy that Mama is finally leaving office and will be having more time for our family business as well as for each other. As I grow older, it makes more sense to me that I really love my parents. As I grow older, I see how human my parents are, and the more I see that, the more I understand them. Maybe I am already at that stage in life that I also begin to see how they see things, to view the world as they perceive it. Let's talk about perspective. My sister is also happy. I am at that point where I want to give her all the freedom she wants, as long as she remains responsible for herself. She just celebrated their 3rd year anniversary with her boyfriend who is in Maldives. I don't actually approve of her boyfriend but what the heck, she loves him and as long as they love each other, that's what really matters.

I am happy that I am finally wiritng again. I'm happy, I just am...

Thank you Lord...