Emotional kaleidoscope. In so many ways, this describes my past few days journeying within myself and out. I felt like drowning myself in the pain, not really wanting to let go, hoping against hope that things will remain the same, more or less. But truth is, things are different now - and more than anything else, everything happens for a reason.
I bask in the idea that this has to happen, that I will understand what it means to love, fall in love and fall out of love, to find my heart beating like nothing, and seeing it shredded into pieces. Love is an investment. As you see your stocks falling down, in all its volatility, we remain hopeful that all of these are only speculation. And then one day you realize, you've lost it. There is nothing more to gain but the lessons to be more prudent next time, to take calculated risks and to know one's risk horizon.
Like the market, the uncertainty and unpredictability that comes with loving makes it more exciting. What can be more relevant than each day and each morning you wake up, there's the anticipation that greets you, waiting for a beautiful morning, telling of the feelings that now dominates your soul. But in the process, as you fashion your days and nights according to the beloved, there's a part of you that loses itself, in parts and parcels that sometimes can never be put together.
Yet these are the lessons you learn - to enjoy the feeling while it lasts but more importantly, to go beyond mere feelings and place oneself in a higher plane - a dimensional shift of perspective and of consciousness. To lose yourself in the process and not understand the transformations that are happening within your being is to forget the greatness that you are - alone in this vast space of creation.
The world is your stage - take advantage of the infinite possibilities there are.
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