I woke up early today...and immediately telephoned my mother to check if she's already home. Sigh. She came over for the holiday season. It has been a long time since we spent time together...I no longer go home to our province during the holidays due to work. I also hate lining up at the bus terminal. It's always jam-packed with people during peak season. But I do go home in the province at least once a year, usually during my mandatory leave.
I hate goodbyes. It is only now that I realize that. Mama had tears streaming in her eyes when we bade goodbye to each other. It will be long before we see each other again. Although we call each other (my sister lives with me, both my parents are in the province) at least twice a week, it's still different when they are physically present. Papa will also be coming over next month.
My sister and I are used to be separated from our parents since we were small. Every summer, we always visit our aunt here in Manila and stay with her for two months until classes begin. Since there were no cellphones yet, they used to call us every Wednesday thru long distance calls. We were always very excited of Wednesdays.
Come high school, I was totally separated from my parents and sister save for some vacations. Maybe due to practice, thanks for our yearly visits in Manila, I never felt homesick. Looking back, it was indeed difficult to be separated at a tender age of 12. I should have grown with my family beside me. Sometimes, I felt I didn't belong anymore; not that they didn't love me, they do, it's just that I no longer know their story, I was no longer part of their day-to-day living, I was a stranger in my own family. I no longer knew them, they no longer knew me. My family isn't perfect, but I would love to bask in its imperfection.
At 24, I have a lot of dreams for my family. I really have to make up for lost time. Life is short...
I hate goodbyes. It is only now that I realize that. Mama had tears streaming in her eyes when we bade goodbye to each other. It will be long before we see each other again. Although we call each other (my sister lives with me, both my parents are in the province) at least twice a week, it's still different when they are physically present. Papa will also be coming over next month.
My sister and I are used to be separated from our parents since we were small. Every summer, we always visit our aunt here in Manila and stay with her for two months until classes begin. Since there were no cellphones yet, they used to call us every Wednesday thru long distance calls. We were always very excited of Wednesdays.
Come high school, I was totally separated from my parents and sister save for some vacations. Maybe due to practice, thanks for our yearly visits in Manila, I never felt homesick. Looking back, it was indeed difficult to be separated at a tender age of 12. I should have grown with my family beside me. Sometimes, I felt I didn't belong anymore; not that they didn't love me, they do, it's just that I no longer know their story, I was no longer part of their day-to-day living, I was a stranger in my own family. I no longer knew them, they no longer knew me. My family isn't perfect, but I would love to bask in its imperfection.
At 24, I have a lot of dreams for my family. I really have to make up for lost time. Life is short...
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