What a journey. I am seeing the world with new eyes. It's a beautiful world indeed. As I wake up each morning, I declare to the universe that I am a miracle. For indeed, I am a miracle. Miracles happen every day if only we believe.
The miracle of my life is finding myself. It is a tortuous journey, an uphill climb yet worth the challenge. I am hopeful of what is to come. For everything is a miracle and I believe in miracles. The miracle of my life is the quest for myself. Like the shepherd of Andalusia, the journey of a lifetime, in search for wealth and his Personal Legend, started and ended in the same place. It has come full circle and the miracle of my life is beginning to unfold in shaping that circle into existence.
The symbol of my journey is a circle. The miracle of my life is in the circle. I shall end where I began.
It is refreshing to recognize myself once again. For the longest time, I have failed to look within and understand what there is. Joy springs from the inner recesses of my being as I breathe life once again. For to be born again is to rise from the ashes, to overcome the darkness of nothingness to the promise of hope. Yes, there is something out there waiting to be uncovered. It is there where I shall be who I am.
To confront oneself, much less, to acknowledge one's weakness is difficult, if not, fearsome. To say "I need help," is an assertion of one's weakness yet it is also an assertion of one's stake in being. There is much to know in the height, width and depth of one's being. As I stare at myself looking at myself, I begin to understand where to begin.
There is only one choice in life -- to be happy. Happiness is a choice. It has always been a choice. True happiness is a decision one must stake his whole life into. It is a decision to live for the rest of forever. There is much to be understood in this world, but to "fall in love and stay in love" in an absolute way to something that gives reason for you to wake up in the morning is a decision towards happiness. The road towards happiness is a process of leaving tracks for others to follow. The road towards happiness is built by small instances of happiness as one lives through each day knowing in his heart that it is worth doing. The building blocks of happiness are in the little deeds of kindness, the little sacrifices in the most mundane of situations. For these blocks, small as they may seem, can build an edifice strong enough to weather the storms of life. Happiness indeed, is a decision.
As the phoenix rises from the ashes, I find myself breathing life once again.
More than ever, I am re-thinking my life and the way it should be. I am starting all over again, finding my way and my place in the greater scheme of things. I look at myself and I see somebody who is not yet confident, not quite ready to take on the challenge yet there present at every situation, at every moment, that would compromise his confidence even more. In spite of it all, I see somebody getting stronger, growing more mature and wise each passing day.
The world is indeed full of people, diverse as the sands in the shore. Shifting through the diversity takes a while. Somehow, we find our place in this diversity, our niche, the place where we can best survive, the place where we can call home. In the truest sense of the word, home becomes more apparent, readily and convincingly, in the inner recesses of one's being, where the world stops to its core, relying solely on the beating of one's heart, and there, a whisper of hope, of passion and of love arises.
Truly, there is a place for all of us. A sense of purpose drives most of us, even blindly at first, to just take the plunge and trust that there must be more than what is seen, sozein ta phainomena. There is more to the track left in the woodlands. There is more to the footprint as the ebb and flow of tide comes to shore. There is more to the shadow cast in the presence of light. There is more than what meets the eye.
I write yet again after a long period of slumber. I missed doing this. I hope I will be able to update this blog more often from now on...
Bliss! I am not sure what emotional state I am in at the moment, it seems everything is mixed up for now. A lot has indeed happened and I can't seem to process these yet...I am at a crossroads, of uncertainty and certainty; of fear and hope; of highs and lows...Yet, I am excited of what is to come, for me, for us, for the vast network of interconnectedness where I belong. I long for change and change is to come.
The long wait is finally over. Our appointment signed by the President was finally released. Clouds of doubt and uncertainty have finally settled to their resting place. I finally tendered resignation. I finally am resolved to take this step further; take a risk further; push myself further. I am hopeful. I am excited.
As these all are happening, something within me remains restless, restless as a child wanting comfort from the bosom of his mother; restless as a cub waiting for the warmth of love; restless as a river flowing silently into the sea. Oh, the tempest of it all! Something within me is longing for something else; something more than honor or praise, appreciation and recognition; something more than the soothing caresses of the wind in the midnight run or the soft embrace of the night as it beckons me to sleep. Something within me just can't settle for anything less anymore.
I am in search for more than what is now. What is seems linear at this point; that the curves and blinds of the road become exciting, mysterious as they may seem, yet they give the influx of energy to the weary traveler. I am in search for something more than the water that quenches my thirst in this dry and arid land. An oasis is in sight yet the mirage seems to be more appealing that the oasis itself. For when in the oasis, the beauty of it all, surreal as it may seem, will soon fade and give way to the ordinary. Soon, the excitement will fade along.
Yet I am hopeful for what is to come. It is there where I shall continue to live my life and paint the picture of my destiny. It is there where I will reach the heights and surrender totally to the immensity of the universe and all there is. It is there where I will sway with the cadence of the wind in a dance that will bring me closer to life. It is there where I shall begin to live, be born again, hoping that the world will welcome me once more and yet again introduce me to the wonders of it all. It is in what is to come that the present finds meaning.
Bliss! for the world is full of happy accidents, pleasant surprises and unexpected turns.
I tender my resignation at BPI Family Savings Bank effective today.
It is with great gratitude that I leave this institution. For the almost 5 years that I have been part of it, I have grown personally and professionally. I pride myself for having been a Unibanker. In my heart, I believe that BPI is the best bank in the country.
As I join the diplomatic corps of our Foreign Service, I am confident that what my years in BPI has taught will continue to guide me. The ideals of excellence, teamwork, innovation and exceptional service will be put in good use as I venture into government work and be of service to the Filipino people here and abroad.
2010! It's new year! Exactly a year ago, I started this blog with one thing in mind - to keep a journal of my life, my goals and my aspirations.
A sojourn to life - indeed, the past year has been a blessing and I am confident 2010 is full of blessings. There is always something in store for all of us if only we open our minds and hearts to the endless possibilities that life offers. As the Alchemist says, the universe conspires with us to find our Personal Legend. I know mine is a work in progress. As there are omens that guide and give certainty to a rather uncertain journey, there is certainty that our Personal Legends exist and happy is he who finds his Personal Legend...
Decisions open new gates and doors that would have never been possible before we make those decisions. As a new year ushers in, I look back in gratitude. I decided to finally lose weight. It was difficult at first, but that one decision made me a more confident and better person sans 75 pounds later. The universe indeed conspired with my desire to lose weight and continues to conspire as people, experiences and events flow into the tapestry being woven until now. I now look at the mirror and feel happy about myself. I have a gained back the self-respect I lost for the longest time.
I decided to open myself to new doors in terms of my career. I agreed to handle a branch with much hesitation about my capability to do so. I had to muster all the confidence and courage I can to face a new challenge. It turned out to be a breeze. I was promoted to Manager four months into being branch head. I wished within myself and it happened. As this was happening, a new gate opened to me. I passed the DFA written and oral examinations and eventually the psychological examinations. I am one of the 19 examinees out of 899 who passed. I never expected this to happen. But a decision has been made. I will not let go of this opportunity. I am confident that by March 2010, I am with the DFA.
I look back in gratitude. Ondoy only made us stronger as individuals and as a family. Ondoy made us be more grateful of what we have and made us look at things differently. It cleansed our lenses to view the world beautifully. Life is beautiful, indeed it is!
My sister's not passing only strengthened our bond as a family. It made us realize that family is family. My sister is graduating this March and taking the Bar this September. She is already a lawyer by 2011.
Mama and Papa's relationship is going stronger. I'm happy Mama is enjoying her life after NFA. I'm happy Papa is exploring possibilities in life that boosts his confidence. I am happy that our relatives are addressing concerns and issues that need to be faced. In time, we will look back in gratitude and say that life is indeed beautiful.
Doors and gates open for us everyday. To enter or not is a decision we have to make. Either way, happiness depends on our finding what our Personal Legend truly is.
I pray and hope. I hope in gratitude knowing that whatever comes our way is necessary for us to find our Personal Legend.
Lord, thank you. Give us the peace of mind, serenity of heart and courage to accept your will. AMEN.
