Change

There is something within that bugs me every single day. Though I try hard to understand, I struggle with my thoughts, feelings and emotions. My mind flies without direction, to places where it leads, sometimes to destinations far and unknown. Simply put, I am confused. My world is confused. Change is happening - a good one I hope. 

In the many things that have happened in the past months or so, it seems interesting enough that I have still yet to pinpoint what it is that I really want or need or that which that would make me happy. In the process, I am losing a firm grasp of things, or my dreams and aspirations for the desires within no longer hold clarity or meaning. I wake up each day, only to see myself go through the minutes and hours searching for that which would be meaningful and purposeful. To my mind, my perplexity is something borne out of the fact that I am counting my days and trying to complete a picture which seems abstract at this point. 

I wonder where this would lead me. I may not understand the rhyme and reason to everything right now, but I know it is going somewhere, somehow. In the blank spaces of eternity, there seems a moment when the world becomes a void with nothing but the silence and the darkness that envelopes this stateless confusion. When confronted with choices, and when the choice is not too easy to make or accept, the world becomes a sea of tides and waves, without order but moving just the same. 

But the calm is in the eye of the storm - that place where silence is not void but serenity that calms the heart. I hear my heart beat as the silence grows deeper and stronger each stride in this vastness of creation. My eyes blink towards the horizon, where the seeming endlessness of space becomes merely imagination at the sight of land, however far or dim. The myriad I see in the desert sand brings back memories of castles and knights as they march in defense of a cause.

More than ever, I cherish being a child once again, when every song is a sweet lullaby, ready to let the innocence sleep in deep slumber.

I Choose Life

Today, 
I choose life.

I choose to live. 

I choose to face the world, 
stronger, better, fuller.

I choose love.

I choose hope. 

I choose peace. 

Today, 
the choice is mine. 

Turning Life

Emotional kaleidoscope. In so many ways, this describes my past few days journeying within myself and out. I felt like drowning myself in the pain, not really wanting to let go, hoping against hope that things will remain the same, more or less. But truth is, things are different now - and more than anything else, everything happens for a reason. 

I bask in the idea that this has to happen, that I will understand what it means to love, fall in love and fall out of love, to find my heart beating like nothing, and seeing it shredded into pieces. Love is an investment. As you see your stocks falling down, in all its volatility, we remain hopeful that all of these are only speculation. And then one day you realize, you've lost it. There is nothing more to gain but the lessons to be more prudent next time, to take calculated risks and to know one's risk horizon. 

Like the market, the uncertainty and unpredictability that comes with loving makes it more exciting. What can be more relevant than each day and each morning you wake up, there's the anticipation that greets you, waiting for a beautiful morning, telling of the feelings that now dominates your soul. But in the process, as you fashion your days and nights according to the beloved, there's a part of you that loses itself, in parts and parcels that sometimes can never be put together.

Yet these are the lessons you learn - to enjoy the feeling while it lasts but more importantly, to go beyond mere feelings and place oneself in a higher plane - a dimensional shift of perspective and of consciousness. To lose yourself in the process and not understand the transformations that are happening within your being is to forget the greatness that you are - alone in this vast space of creation.

The world is your stage - take advantage of the infinite possibilities there are.

The Power of Choice

Some say love is a feeling, others say it is a choice, I say it is both. It comes quite suddenly and rather unexpectedly, sometimes without sense or reason, sometimes confusing. 

LOVE is a process - a decision to choose to fall in love, a result of the push and pull of many factors. The level of uncertainty as well as the vulnerability it entails makes it something that is not worth rushing into. Some say actions speak louder than words. I say words should be spoken together with the action. 

Most of the time, reading between the lines poses more danger of misinterpretation. There's the thrill but there's the rub as well. People who are in love or are into falling in love tend to form opinions and try to justify rather than the challenge them. As a book I read on choice says, to make the most out of choice, we must make ourselves uncomfortable. 

I choose to discover who I am. And the choice to love someone is a path to discovering our very own selves. Yet the path is not too easy, sometimes, the mix ruble of emotions that we come to feel along the way makes the journey more complicated. The very dynamics of choice, especially in love, entails a gamut of decisions and vast possibilities of give and take.

Once a path is chosen, there is no turning back. And today, I declare to the universe...I choose the path to happiness, the path to freedom and the path to immense joy. I choose the path the love, to finding my peace and to finding my place in the greater scheme of things. Today, I choose the path to me. All else shall emanate from within...the joy, the peace and the serenity within shall overflow to all aspects of my life. 

Today, I choose the path to LIFE. It is worth living.

Lovestruck

I'm feeling mixed emotions. The last time I remember feeling this way was when I was in college, with the person who I have considered the first one to make me feel really special.  But then I was younger, naive at best, trying to rationalize more than cherish the moment. It took me years to really move on. And now, yet again, my rationalizing has gotten the best of me. 

I cherish the company, the conversations, the sweet nothings...I cherish the moments, the smile, the simple words...but more than anything else, I feel alive...life became more meaningful, the smile on me more beautiful. I'm confused, more than anything else, but I can't let go now..it's gotten complicated than I thought. I thought it was easy just to stay away and move on as I have always done but this is different...I'm feeling the pain, feeling the anxiety, feeling what I believe is LOVE...

The Prodigal

 

 

I feel quite miserable yet hopeful that things will change for the better. The emotional cycle I go through is quite unpredictable, from summit to trough, extremely at both ends of the spectrum. In light of various circumstances, I am still thankful of the fact that despite failures, mistakes and wrong decisions, I am being given the nth lease to life.

As I harbor these feelings, I savor, though reluctantly, the pain it brings; for only through suffering the pain that true joy arises. The picture of the prodigal son being embraced by his welcoming father brings me to a realization of how humanly possible unconditional love is; how humanly possible we fall into the quagmire of our own selfishness, and how humanly possible, despite our pride, we learn to humble ourselves before our defeat and failures. The magnitude of the frame of the human condition that the parable of the prodigal son succinctly captures brings humanity closer to the divine. For what is to love and forgive but divine.

I go through the depths of my being, knowing fully well how and why I have come to this point. Yet, I am not ready to face reality as it poses itself to me. The world as I see it, depends much on the creations of each and every mind that enters into time-space, being degenerated into the limitations of the material; the spiritual left to fend for its own. I wonder why in the magnificence of it all, there is a seeming lack that haunts my very soul, draining each and everytime whatever hope or promise there is. I harbor these feelings, knowing full well that these too shall pass.

As I open my heart in the words of men, I open my soul to the universe, to accept me as a newly born child, with my cries of dependence, excited about the first rays of sunshine to touch my skin or the first taste of human love. There is a wonder to it all and I savor new life, the new eyes, the new breath, when everything is new despite its oldness.

I speak to the universe, to carry me to its bossom, to bring back its prodigal son to its embrace, and rather soothingly, in all love, whisper in my ear, the gentle and sweet words," welcome back my child."

The Power Within

What of the power within, what of the hero inside, what of the divine in thyself. 

It is a liberating thought; a freeing idea, a breath of fresh air after a period of dreary melancholy. What of the power within, does give life to a death of existence, lived each day only to survive. Each day is a creation, of thought, of actions, of life. Each day finds meaning only because I have chosen to find meaning. Life is a choice, my everyday existence is a choice to live.

It is a choice to be happy. I am happy beyond measure for I choose to be happy. In everything, there is happiness, even in the most uncertain and unexpected of situations. Happiness begins within, from a self-fulfillment only you and I understand. The walls that were built by centuries of beliefs and traditions are walls penetrable not by resistance but by sheer understanding of the power within. The walls that divide between you and your happiness, between you and yourself, between you and your destiny, are walls readily  fallen by the might of your choice - to be happy, to be yourself, to fulfill your destiny. No one else can give you and I the happiness we desire. It is you. It is I. 

I shout it to the universe, I declare it to realms unknown, I surrender. I surrender to to the infinite possibilities of life. I surrender to the magnificence of it all, to the beauty of life still unbeknownst to men. I surrender to the magnanimity of the powers within and without, to the living vibrance and essence that makes grass grow, that caresses the blossoming flower as dew drops trickle to the heart of its beauty. There is something, someone greater than ourselves. I surrender. 

What of the hero inside, does brave the battles as opportunities to grow. I look for strength, but only within does true courage reside. The courage to rise above the din of the crowd, a crowd created by a multitude, a multiplicity of uncertainties and anxieties, a multiplicity of worries and denials. I rise above it all. 

I emerge victorious, broken yet whole, broken only to be re-born, only to find the self that has always been. I emerge free, flowing as the river flows into the ocean of my destiny.  I emerge free, blowing as the wind blows, around and to the nether lands.I emerge free, dancing to the music of my heart, to the tune of my destiny. I am free. 

I look at the sky above, in a moonless starry night. My heart leaps with joy, as I feel myself part of a universe, created to provide me everything I need and I ever want. As I look beyond the horizon, beyond that stars that twinkle in their solitary place, I find myself - among the stars, among the promise of hope and of life. As I sing my song, the tunes of the universe sing along. 

What of the divine! 

New Beginnings

It has rather been an emotional journey for me. I am in my first week of office and everything seems ok. I just hope that I can adjust normally and get along really well with my work and my colleagues. Time flies fast indeed! I now face the real thing, with almost everything down to zero once again. I am going forward to new beginnings. I am a fan of beginnings. 

Beginnings. Indeed, I am looking at things with new eyes once again, hoping that the future holds all my heart's desires. The wonder of it all captures itself in the serene smile of a child, innocent amid the complex realities of the world. The candor of a soldier is belittled by the sweet laughter that finds itself dancing with the cadence of the wind as the soft breeze beckons me to sleep. As I dream of worlds forlorn, over and above the castles of yesteryears; as the fantasies of worlds beyond our imagination build into the smoky air, there seems to be a light, dim as it is, calling for my soul to jump into the vastness of the mystery of life. It is a leap of faith, a leap I have to make yet again as I journey into a world, unknown, unchartered yet full of promise. In that leap, I raise my voice with all the might I can master, and declare to the universe and all there was, there is and there will ever be, that I am who I am. I am the creator of my destiny, the captain of my ship. As I tread the waters and dive into the uncertainty of it all, in my heart springs joy, an eternal joy from within only comparable to that sweet laughter. 

If in my heart, I find emptiness, it is only because I do not have someone to share my life with. If in my heart, there is longing, it is only because I do not have someone to share my love with. If in my heart, there is a yearning desire, it is only because I do not have someone to share my journey with. The road may seem long and arduous, as countless have tried to climb the mountain of their destiny, but I shall soar above the sky and view the mountains as my home for eternity.

I look toward the horizon, emboldened by the realization that I am loved, that I am blessed, and that all I ever need is within my grasp. I am strengthened by the joy I feel, by the gratitude that springs from my heart for the wonderful years that have gone by. It is indeed a wonderful journey. It is just beginning. 

Today, I declare it to the universe, I shall conquer my heart. I shall conquer the world. 

Bliss, sweet bliss!  

Crossroads

It has been a rather interesting experience. Yesterday, I explored the world once more, trying to find myself and redefine my life. I'm at a crossroad, not really knowing where I will go from here but hoping the road I chose leads me to where I should be. Quite interesting since i found myself in the pit once again, trying to understand what it means to be there. I have been confused, I still am. I have yet to struggle and grapple with the realities of who I am. I have yet to understand the many facets of me. 

I am at a crossroads indeed. It may not be the most ideal of situations, but yesterday did give me an opportunity to reassess and re-evaluate what I have been trying to do these past few months. It has never been easy but I now know I can do it. I now understand that the feelings and emotions of yesterdays no longer hold true. There are things I need to deconstruct at this point. There are things I need to rebuild and recreate to achieve my full potential. I now know that there is something more to what is seen indeed. 

I pray and hope that the world will unfold as it should. In the inner recesses of my being, I resonate the sound of my soul, its music filling the world with hope, trying to rise above the din of the crowd. I long for something that will fulfill the yearning of my heart; something that will fill the emptiness within.The journey has just begun.

I yearn to dance with the cadence of the wind, swaying freely as it blows into the netherlands. I long for the soft breeze of every morning; for the dew that drips from the leaves refreshed from its thirst in this dry and arid land. I desire the first ray of sunshine as it rises in the horizon, filling a palette of colors in a serene ocean. 

As I look at the stars in a moonless night, I wander.  I wander of how my life will end. I wander over the end of the journey, where the trail leads me to somewhere I have never been. I wander over the forest of darkness, where only unfamiliar sounds beckon the presence of life. I wander over the depths of the sea, where life promises to be equal its beauty. I wander over the vastness of space, over the limitless possibilities of existence. I wander for home. There, I shall find rest. There, I shall be who I am.

Today, at this time, I declare it to the universe. I am free. I am who I am.

New Directions

I am reassessing my life at the moment. It has been an amazing journey since I started with my new work. I am learning a lot; I have been to places I've never been to, I have met new colleagues and hopefully new friends. My life is changing for the better. Perhaps, for the best. 

Each morning as I wake up, I imagine myself a changed man. I declare it to the universe. I envision myself in the best possible way I can. This is my journey - a journey towards achieving my full potential. I am meant for greater things and each day is leading me to that. The direction of my life has been clearer more than ever. The path is long yet each step I take is a step closer to my destination. I surrender my future to Him who knows what is best. For now, I am basking in the wonder of my new found self. 

I have never felt more satisfied; more complete; more at peace with myself. The days are gone when my choices and decisions in life keep me deep into the quagmire of my selfishness. It is now I realize that determination and perseverance get the prize. Each day, I struggle. Each day, I enjoy the struggle for each day is a testament of the power I hold over my life and my destiny. Each day is a testament of the miracles and blessings that abound around me. Each day is a new day for a new self. Each day, I am redefining me. 

I am happy and grateful for the second chance to life given to me. I will not waste it. I have been down the other road before. It is not worth going back. New directions have been presented and I grab the opportunities that come my way. New directions lead me to where I should be. New directions point me to finding and re-discovering myself. 

I declare it to the universe, I am free! Yes, free at last!

Finding Me

What a journey. I am seeing the world with new eyes. It's a beautiful world indeed. As I wake up each morning, I declare to the universe that I am a miracle. For indeed, I am a miracle. Miracles happen every day if only we believe. 

The miracle of my life is finding myself. It is a tortuous journey, an uphill climb yet worth the challenge. I am hopeful of what is to come. For everything is a miracle and I believe in miracles. The miracle of my life is the quest for myself. Like the shepherd of Andalusia, the journey of a lifetime, in search for wealth and his Personal Legend, started and ended in the same place. It has come full circle and the miracle of my life is beginning to unfold in shaping that circle into existence. 

The symbol of my journey is a circle. The miracle of my life is in the circle. I shall end where I began.

Phoenix

It is refreshing to recognize myself once again. For the longest time, I have failed to look within and understand what there is. Joy springs from the inner recesses of my being as I breathe life once again. For to be born again is to rise from the ashes, to overcome the darkness of nothingness to the promise of hope. Yes, there is something out there waiting to be uncovered. It is there where I shall be who I am. 

To confront oneself, much less, to acknowledge one's weakness is difficult, if not, fearsome. To say "I need help," is an assertion of one's weakness yet it is also an assertion of one's stake in being. There is much to know in the height, width and depth of one's being. As I stare at myself looking at myself, I begin to understand where to begin. 

There is only one choice in life -- to be happy. Happiness is a choice. It has always been a choice. True happiness is a decision one must stake his whole life into. It is a decision to live for the rest of forever. There is much to be understood in this world, but to "fall in love and stay in love" in an absolute way to something that gives reason for you to wake up in the morning is a decision towards happiness. The road towards happiness is a process of leaving tracks for others to follow. The road towards happiness is built by small instances of happiness as one lives through each day knowing in his heart that it is worth doing. The building blocks of happiness are in the little deeds of kindness, the little sacrifices in the most mundane of situations. For these blocks, small as they may seem, can build an edifice strong enough to weather the storms of life. Happiness indeed, is a decision. 

As the phoenix rises from the ashes, I find myself breathing life once again.

Paalam

Sa bawat patak ng ulan
At pagdampi ng hanging amihan
Ako'y nakatanaw
Sa paraisong walang hangganan

Pagkat sa 'yong paglisan
Nagunaw ang buhay kong tangan
Walang humpay
Sa pagsambit ng 'yong pangalan

Paalam

Sozein ta phainomena

More than ever, I am re-thinking my life and the way it should be. I am starting all over again, finding my way and my place in the greater scheme of things. I look at myself and I see somebody who is not yet confident, not quite ready to take on the challenge yet there present at every situation, at every moment, that would compromise his confidence even more. In spite of it all, I see somebody getting stronger, growing more mature and wise each passing day. 

The world is indeed full of people, diverse as the sands in the shore. Shifting through the diversity takes a while. Somehow, we find our place in this diversity, our niche, the place where we can best survive, the place where we can call home. In the truest sense of the word, home becomes more apparent, readily and convincingly, in the inner recesses of one's being, where the world stops to its core, relying solely on the beating of one's heart, and there, a whisper of hope, of passion and of love arises. 

Truly, there is a place for all of us. A sense of purpose drives most of us, even blindly at first, to just take the plunge and trust that there must be more than what is seen, sozein ta phainomena. There is more to the track left in the woodlands. There is more to the footprint as the ebb and flow of tide comes to shore. There is more to the shadow cast in the presence of light. There is more than what meets the eye.

A Happy Accident

I write yet again after a long period of slumber. I missed doing this. I hope I will be able to update this blog more often from now on...

Bliss! I am not sure what emotional state I am in at the moment, it seems everything is mixed up for now. A lot has indeed happened and I can't seem to process these yet...I am at a crossroads, of uncertainty and certainty; of fear and hope; of highs and lows...Yet, I am excited of what is to come, for me, for us, for the vast network of interconnectedness where I belong. I long for change and change is to come. 

The long wait is finally over. Our appointment signed by the President was finally released. Clouds of doubt and uncertainty have finally settled to their resting place. I finally tendered resignation. I finally am resolved to take this step further; take a risk further; push myself further. I am hopeful. I am excited. 

As these all are happening, something within me remains restless, restless as a child wanting comfort from the bosom of his mother; restless as a cub waiting for the warmth of love; restless as a river flowing silently into the sea. Oh, the tempest of it all! Something within me is longing for something else; something more than honor or praise, appreciation and recognition; something more than the soothing caresses of the wind in the midnight run or the soft embrace of the night as it beckons me to sleep. Something within me just can't settle for anything less anymore. 

I am in search for more than what is now. What is seems linear at this point; that the curves and blinds of the road become exciting, mysterious as they may seem, yet they give the influx of energy to the weary traveler. I am in search for something more than the water that quenches my thirst in this dry and arid land. An oasis is in sight yet the mirage seems to be more appealing that the oasis itself. For when in the oasis, the beauty of it all, surreal as it may seem, will soon fade and give way to the ordinary. Soon, the excitement will fade along. 

Yet I am hopeful for what is to come. It is there where I shall continue to live my life and paint the picture of my destiny. It is there where I will reach the heights and surrender totally to the immensity of the universe and all there is. It is there where I will sway with the cadence of the wind in a dance that will bring me closer to life. It is there where I shall begin to live, be born again, hoping that the world will welcome me once more and yet again introduce me to the wonders of it all. It is in what is to come that the present finds meaning.

Bliss! for the world is full of happy accidents, pleasant surprises and unexpected turns. 

A New Horizon

January 2010

Addressee

Good day!

I tender my resignation at BPI Family Savings Bank effective today.

It is with great gratitude that I leave this institution. For the almost 5 years that I have been part of it, I have grown personally and professionally. I pride myself for having been a Unibanker. In my heart, I believe that BPI is the best bank in the country.

As I join the diplomatic corps of our Foreign Service, I am confident that what my years in BPI has taught will continue to guide me. The ideals of excellence, teamwork, innovation and exceptional service will be put in good use as I venture into government work and be of service to the Filipino people here and abroad.

Thank you BPI! Continue to take us farther!

Sincerely,

jkeb

Of Gates and Doors

2010! It's new year! Exactly a year ago, I started this blog with one thing in mind - to keep a journal of my life, my goals and my aspirations.

A sojourn to life - indeed, the past year has been a blessing and I am confident 2010 is full of blessings. There is always something in store for all of us if only we open our minds and hearts to the endless possibilities that life offers. As the Alchemist says, the universe conspires with us to find our Personal Legend. I know mine is a work in progress. As there are omens that guide and give certainty to a rather uncertain journey, there is certainty that our Personal Legends exist and happy is he who finds his Personal Legend...

Decisions open new gates and doors that would have never been possible before we make those decisions. As a new year ushers in, I look back in gratitude. I decided to finally lose weight. It was difficult at first, but that one decision made me a more confident and better person sans 75 pounds later. The universe indeed conspired with my desire to lose weight and continues to conspire as people, experiences and events flow into the tapestry being woven until now.  I now look at the mirror and feel happy about myself. I have a gained back the self-respect I lost for the longest time.

I decided to open myself to new doors in terms of my career. I agreed to handle a branch with much hesitation about my capability to do so. I had to muster all the confidence and courage I can to face a new challenge. It turned out to be a breeze. I was promoted to Manager four months into being branch head. I wished within myself and it happened. As this was happening, a new gate opened to me. I passed the DFA written and oral examinations and eventually the psychological examinations. I am one of the 19 examinees out of 899 who passed. I never expected this to happen. But a decision has been made. I will not let go of this opportunity. I am confident that by March 2010, I am with the DFA.

I look back in gratitude. Ondoy only made us stronger as individuals and as a family. Ondoy made us be more grateful of what we have and made us look at things differently. It cleansed our lenses to view the world beautifully. Life is beautiful, indeed it is!

My sister's not passing only strengthened our bond as a family. It made us realize that family is family. My sister is graduating this March and taking the Bar this September. She is already a lawyer by 2011.

Mama and Papa's relationship is going stronger. I'm happy Mama is enjoying her life after NFA. I'm happy Papa is exploring possibilities in life that boosts his confidence. I am happy that our relatives are addressing concerns and issues that need to be faced. In time, we will look back in gratitude and say that life is indeed beautiful.

Doors and gates open for us everyday. To enter or not is a decision we have to make. Either way, happiness depends on our finding what our Personal Legend truly is.

I pray and hope. I hope in gratitude knowing that whatever comes our way is necessary for us to find our Personal Legend.

Lord, thank you. Give us the peace of mind, serenity of heart and courage to accept your will. AMEN.

Patient Waiting

Waiting. Well, I think that has been the flow of my life these past few weeks, actually, it still is. And I believe everything is worth the wait. Patience is indeed a virtue and perfect timing never meant more than now.

I turned 25 last August 20. That makes a lot of difference. At 25, I am patiently waiting that I achieve my ideal weight of 170 lbs or slightly lower. I am patiently waiting for my official appointment to the DFA. I am patiently waiting for my project to win in the finals yet again. I am patiently waiting for my PLR increase. I am patiently waiting for that special someone. I am patiently waiting for my sister to graduate and pass the bar. I am patiently waiting for that time where I can treat my whole family to a grand vacation somewhere outside the Philippines. I am patiently waiting for the time that I am finally at peace with what I really desire in life.

So many things really and it just takes time before everything becomes clear. In the process of patiently waiting, I believe our desires and wants become more distinct and meaningful at one point. What will I do in the next 25 years? The first 25 years was not that difficult. I passed that stage where I was helpless as a child, until I entered school and made the best out of it. 20 years later, I found myself graduating from the best school in the country, with flying colors. And then I got a job, acquired a home, established myself quite prominently in my company. At 25, however, I want change in so many areas in my life.

Yes, at this point in time, I want change for the better. I want something different, something fulfilling, something meaningful. I am in a constant search, and a change of scenery helps, I believe. For more than once in my life, I have asked myself one question, am I happy? Happiness is a fleeting experience. One day you're happy, the other, you're not. Yet meaning is something that will stay for long. Meaning creates that happiness within. I think my happiness is in something where meaning resides. As long as I can still see the meaning, as long as it still lights the way as a beacon does to a weary traveler, then I am happy.

In time, happiness shall be forever.

Life's Surprises

Hi there! It's been weeks. Anyways, as promised, here's my Coron experience atbp.

June 12, 2009

It was raining real hard past 4 in the morning. It was not a good sign but I was hoping the weather will be better by 9 0'clock - our scheduled flight to Busuanga, Palawan via Cebu Pacific. 6 o'clock, it was just drizzling, a good sign. 14 of us checked-in at the NAIA Terminal 3 around 7 am, so we had two hours to wait for boarding time. Our airplane had an electric fan as propeller --- not a good sign. Take-off was a bit shaky, causing my heart to pound faster than normal. My sister, on the other hand, a first-timer, was enjoying the ride...and then we landed safely---whoof...

Our accomodation was not that great but it was fine enough. We were treated to a seafood lunch before we went boating to Kayangan Lake. After a hundred slippery steps or so because of the rain and a ton of sweat, we reached the lake- very impressive indeed. I was afraid to take a dip in the water but what the heck, I have to. So I did and after minutes of panic and heavy breathing, I was normalized --- whoof...

Back to our boat, we headed to Siete Pecados which, we later learned, is literally translated as Seven Sins. It was a snorkling site with seven islands. Again, the fishes were impressive. I saw a few, one yellow and one blue I think. To end the day, we went to Makinit Hot Spring. It was really lukewarm hot, it can cook an egg ;) I was glad it was our last stop for the day, a very refreshing and relaxing treat indeed.

July 13, 2009

We headed to another lake, the Twin Lagoon and took some dips and pictures, pictures, pictures! Then to Baraccuda Lake, which was just 20 steps to reach, according to our guide. Wheew, I was relieved I wouldn't have to repeat my ordeal yesterday...or so I thought! The steps to the lake were death-defying!!! OMG!!! If only I can turn back I would but there were 13 people behind me so I had to move on...I swear, I will never, ever, underestimate 20 steps again! B - - - - Beach was a relief for me...And at last for the first time, I feel white sand under my feet. Lunch was disappointing but what the heck, we had a hell of a good time the whole afternoon playing and goofing around under the rain in our very own "private beach." ;)

July 14, 2009

Our last day began with a 754-steps treck to Mt. Tapyas. Again, another adventure. And surprise of all suprises, we made it in an hour!!! Wheew! So there, after going back to Twing Lagoon, we packed our bags and headed to the airport. This was indeed a very enjoyable and memorable experience. I wouldn't trade it for anything --- just for the time with my sister, it was all well worth it.

Fast Forward to More Surprises

July 1, 2009

I took my psychological examinations for the DFA. I had a migraine after. Overall, the exam was fun. I liked the IQ part more than the personality-based questions. I'm hoping that I'll make it to the cadetship.

July 3, 2009

Finally, thank God, my promotion to Manager is official...

So there it is...the only plan we can make in life is to plan to be surprised...

Surprise!

A Box of Chocolates

Hey there! It's been more than a month since I last posted and a lot has happened already. First things first.

The FSO Oral exam was indeed nerve-wracking as most of the comments I've read. Since our group was big, 43 in all, we were divided into two groups. Our group took the panel interview in Day 1, group dynamics in Day 2 and formal dinner in Day 3. I was quite lucky I was scheduled in the morning, 9:20am to be exact, as the agony wouldn't be unnecessarily prolonged. The panel interview went well. There were 10 panelists in all, some were poker-faced, some were affirming, some were negative, I think you really cannot please everybody. Day 2 was not that good. We were given a topic five minutes before we discussed it under the noses of 4 panelists. Our topic was on how we assess the government's iniatives on returning OFWs who lost jobs abroad due to the world financial crisis. We were given 45 minutes to discuss, no more, no less, but the whole time, I was just praying that the 45 minutes will be over. Dude, it's quite hard to think straight. "I am really disappointed," these were the words of the first panelist who assessed our discussion. Our spirits were dampened. Day 3 was more nerve-wracking. After everyone donned their filipinianas and barongs, we brushed elbows with diplomats and ambassadors as we chit-chatted with a glass of wine on the side. During dinner, I was seated with no less than Undersecretary Ebdalin, the Chairman of the examinations, as well as Comm. Bautista of the Civil Service Commission. I was so conscious real big time the whole time. But what the heck, I just ate whatever the waiters served me, it's my first meal at the Intercontinental Manila, hope it wouldn't be my last. Then came the final torture, extemporaneous speech. At random order, each were called to pick a topic in a fishbowl a minute before the actual speech. Dude, a minute to prepare! Sigh. On the piece of paper, there is an event, a venue, and your role. Mine was on the MOA signing between the Philippines and South Korea on the Student-Exchange Program. I was the ambassador to South Korea. I can't remember what I blaberred in the three minutes I was on stage but I felt good. My co-examinees also complimented me. There was a broad range of topics, from the opening of Ploning in the Pusan Film Festival to the opening of a Senate Forum on the Baseline Law. I was quite lucky again, my topic was easier to wing. So there's the oral exam, and guess what, I passed!!!

June 19, 2009, while I was waiting my turn at the customer service counter in PLDT (all our office lines were down), my mobile rang, "Mr Bolante, this is from DFA, congratulations..." The news was hair-raising. I was so happy that I immediately called my parents (they just arrived from the province) and my sister recieved the call. She was exhilarated, shouting at the top of her voice to her excitement. After all the waiting, I just have to undergo one last exam on July 1, the psychological test. As I look back, it's really mind-boggling at how I came across the exam in the first place and how I moved from one stage to another. I'm happy just I winged it.

June 22, 2009, while dozing off in LRT after I claimed my letter from the DFA, my mobile rang once again, this time, it was my Area Business Director calling. I was on leave, obviously, so this must be urgent. "You got it....," Yippeeeee, I got it! My promotion is confirmed!!! At last!!! Again, a hair-raiser. No less than our President has signed my promotion papers. Thank God indeed!

I pray that all these blessings will be shared to my loved ones...that all of us may be blessed...

So, who wouldn't say that life is like a box of chocolates?

Before I forget, we went to Coron, Palawan last June 12-14, 2009. I'll post about it some other time.

XOXO